A real-world look at the psychology and neuroscience of lasting transformation
After more than two decades in the speaking business—which, if we’re honest, is really the behavior change business—I’ve learned that change isn’t an event. It’s a process the brain and body have to experience together.
This year alone, I’ve spoken to thousands of people—and guided more than 3,000 of them through the Choose Your Ending™ Method in rooms across the country. And while every audience is different—executives, frontline teams, entrepreneurs—one truth always surfaces:
People don’t need more motivation.
They need a way to make change stick.
What follows isn’t theory. It’s a synthesis of neuroscience, psychology, and lived experience—a look at how change really works, and how you can make it last.
1. Change doesn’t fail because we’re weak — it fails because our brains are wired for safety.
Every time you try to do something new, the amygdala sends a quiet message:
“Careful. You’ve never been here before.”
That voice isn’t bad—it’s protective. But left unchecked, it keeps you in what I call the Comfort Loop—where you repeat what’s familiar even when it’s no longer working.
The first step to break out of that loop isn’t action.
It’s awareness.
You have to name what needs to end.
2. To make change, start with an ending.
In my Choose Your Ending™️ workshops, we start with one deceptively simple question:
“What’s one thing you know it’s time to end?”
Sometimes it’s a habit like overthinking or procrastination.
Sometimes it’s a story—“I’m not ready.”
Sometimes it’s a pattern—“We’ve always done it this way.”
The moment someone names it out loud, you can feel the room shift.
Why? Because naming a pattern moves it from the emotional brain (amygdala) into the prefrontal cortex—the part that can see options and make conscious decisions.
That’s the power of Step 1 in the Choose Your Ending™️ Method: Claim the Choice.
3. To keep change, you have to feel it — not just think it.
Logic doesn’t drive transformation. Emotion does.
That’s why Step 2 in our process — Create Closure — asks you to imagine both the cost of staying the same and the reward of letting go.
When you do that vividly enough, something remarkable happens in the brain:
- The pain of inaction becomes greater than the fear of change.
- The reward of progress releases dopamine, your brain’s motivation molecule.
That’s when people stop waiting for perfect timing and start taking action—because their nervous system finally agrees: It’s safe to move forward.
4. Anchor the new identity — in your body, not just your mind.
This is where most change efforts fall apart.
People set goals. They get inspired. Then Monday happens.
Lasting change doesn’t come from a motivational high. It comes from embodiment.
In Step 3 — Anchor in Growth — participants stand, breathe, and speak their new declaration out loud:
“I choose to make the brave choice and end what’s been holding me back, so that I can step into what’s next.”
When 500 people say that together, the room vibrates.
That’s because you’re engaging the motor cortex, vagus nerve, and limbic reward circuits—literally encoding the new pattern in body memory.
When change is felt, it lasts.
5. Celebrate small wins to train your brain for momentum.
Every time you celebrate a Brave Choice—no matter how small—your brain releases dopamine and oxytocin.
That’s not fluff. That’s neurochemistry.
It’s the same mechanism that makes social connection so addictive—and you can use it to make growth addictive as well.
So when you finally end that draining habit or make that tough decision, pause and say:
“That’s what growth feels like.”
Because what we celebrate, we repeat.
6. Focus turns moments into momentum.
While the workshops necessarily come to an end, transformation continues when you keep your new decision in view.
That activates your Reticular Activating System—the brain’s internal spotlight.
Once you declare who you’re becoming, your brain starts scanning the world for evidence to support it.
Change becomes a feedback loop:
Focus creates awareness.
Awareness creates action.
Action reinforces identity.
And identity? That’s what keeps change going.
7. The truth about transformation
After helping people and organizations navigate change for more than 25 years, I’ve seen this pattern hold true again and again:
You don’t need to change everything.
You just need to end one thing that no longer serves you.
Do that, and the momentum of that single decision begins to reshape everything else.
Because every breakthrough begins with an ending—and every ending is just the beginning of something better.
💡 Reflection Prompt
What’s one thing you know it’s time to end?
What’s the cost of keeping it?
And what’s the reward of letting it go?
Write it down.
Say it out loud.
And remember — the most powerful changes don’t start in the future.
They start in the moment you Choose Your Ending.
🧭 What’s Next?
If you’re ready to help your team master the moments of change, explore my keynote and workshop experiences at www.ShawnEllis.com.